Strong trees

Widow's Mite

As I lay here this morning, I can tell that this is going to be a low energy day.  A low energy day means that I need to be extra careful with how I use my limited supply of energy.  It means that I need to decide what is really important for me to get done today and plan around that, cutting out extra things.  Some days cutting out extra things means not washing my hair.  Some days it means changing dinner plans from the soup I was going to make, to heating up a box of pasta and a jar of sauce.  On a really low energy day it means asking one of my kids to heat up the food.  

Often, it means not doing something that somebody else can do instead.  It means that even though I was planning on going to my daughter's concert,  I will stay home while my husband goes and makes a video recording of the concert.  We will later gather around the computer while I watch the recording of the concert instead of the live version.  I'll try to be positive and give her lots of extra praise and hope it makes up for the fact that I've missed another event.  I'll tell her that I will try to make it to the next one even though we both know that there is no guarantee that the next time I'll have any more energy than I did this time.

Even before I was sick, I wanted more energy.  I always felt like there was more that I wanted to get done than I ever could accomplish.  Now, however, energy is like water in the desert; it alludes me and escapes from my grasp.  It is a precious resource that I am trying to secure.  I'm always sure that I see an oasis up ahead, but when I arrive I realize that I am still surrounded by desert.

This morning I was reading the story of the widow's mite and I felt like that widow.  She was lacking money and I am lacking energy, but we both are lacking a precious resource.

"And he saw also a certain poor widow casting in thither two mites. And he said, Of a truth I say unto you, that this poor widow hath cast in more than they all:For all these have of their abundance cast in unto the offerings of God: but she of her penury hath cast in all the living that she had." Luke 21:1-4

I feel like I have so little to give, but I am grateful that God only asks me to give what I have.  When I give of my meager offering, He accepts it.  My family too, is patient and understanding and accept what I have to offer.

Perhaps I used to have more energy, but I think I wasted a lot of it before.  I had the abundance, but I didn't always use it for the most important things.  I feel that having such limited energy has made me reconsider how I spend this meager resource.  Having less energy has helped me to see how precious my moments are.  Maybe all I have the energy to do today is to lay in bed and listen to my daughters tell me about their days, but I will cherish those moments.  I cherish having my kids gather in my room as we laugh and cry about the things that life throws their way.  I don't want to be distracted by other things.  The resource of my time and energy are precious and I don't want to waste them on things of lesser importance. 

Like the widow, I may not have much to give, but I will give all that I have and the rest tends to work itself out.  That is the miracle of acknowledging the Savior in our life: He accepts what we offer and He makes up the difference.  

A grateful heart

This message came to me several times in the past week: "Be Grateful."  January is a long, cold and dark month and consequently, during this month I find myself needing to be reminded that I have many things for which to be grateful.

 Last year as I watched my health steadily decline every day, I started keeping track of my diminished capacity.  To better explain my health to doctors, I started a list of every health problem that I was experiencing.  My list started to be a big list of all of the things that I could no longer accomplish.  Though it may have been effective to explain the digression of my health, it was not good for my mental health to focus so much on my "I can't" list.

 When my health was at it's worst and I barely had the strength to get our of bed, I realized that I needed to start focusing on what I could accomplish.  I needed a new list, one that focused on the positive; my "I can" list.  As I lay in bed, I thought of how grateful I was to be alive.  Being brought so low physically helped me to see how precious my life really was.  I was grateful for my heartbeat and for each breath I breathed.  I was grateful for the fact that I could get out of bed, even if it was with great difficulty.  I was grateful for all of the people that were there to take care of each of my needs.  I was grateful for good healthcare to help me recover.  I was grateful to finally have a diagnosis.  I found that once I started to turn my heart and mind towards gratitude, my difficulties didn't feel so overwhelming.

I've heard it said that a grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.  I think that the real miracle that can occur when we live life with a grateful heart, is the miracle of a change of perspective.  When we start to see the proverbial glass as half full, instead of half empty, life really does change for the better.  A study of psychology shows that our reality is based largely on how we perceive our lives.  That means that the power to change our lives lies within each of us and can be truly as simple as a change of perspective.  This power to change our lives truly is a miracle.

The reminder to be grateful is something that I need frequently.  Sometimes life falls short of our expectations.  Sometimes, our challenges can threaten to overwhelm and destroy us.  But life is a gift.  No matter what difficulties we encounter, we can be happier if we live our lives with a grateful heart.

A Brand New Ending

As I look out my window, everything is covered in pure white snow.  I love the start of a new year! It fills me with hope and optimism for the future.  Like the blanket of pure snow that covers the ground, each new year is a blank canvas and I know that anything is possible. 

 This year, the fresh start to a new year is especially important to me after such a harrowing year in 2016.  Last year was the most difficult year of my life and having survived that, I am especially optimistic about a better 2017.  

A few years ago I found a series of online yoga classes that I love.  Leslie Fightmaster teaches beautifully uplifting classes and shares inspiring words.  She suggests at the start of a new year, to write down everything that you are grateful for from the previous year and everything that you hope for in the new year.  I loved this suggestion and have enjoyed reflecting on all of the good that happened in the past year, is spite of the difficulty of the year.  It has also been a great exercise for me to put in to writing my hopes for the new year. 

 I love the following quote from James R Sherman. "You can’t go back and make a new start, but you can start right now and make a brand new ending."

January is a great time to make changes on the path we are traveling. It is a great time to create a brand new ending.  The chance to change our future is a hopeful idea and is a key component of following Jesus Christ.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is all about change.  No matter where we have been or what we have done, we can change our future. 

For me, this means that I can improve my health and not be chained to a disease that would seek to control the rest of my life.  It means that I can start today to make changes that will improve my health.  I can start today being more patient and charitable with those around me.  I can start today to be the person that my Heavenly Father wants me to be.

I am grateful for a new year.  A fresh start and the hope of a better future.
Today is the perfect day to start a brand new ending.