Since I have experienced a decline in my health, the question of "Why Me?" has often entered my mind. Why do I not have enough strength to walk through the aisles of a grocery store, when others can run for miles? Why is my body sick, when other people have healthy bodies? Why am I so limited in what my body will do and others have the freedom to move about and do as they please? Why are seemingly simple tasks so difficult for me to accomplish?
Sometimes my mind wants to play a loop that repeats: "Unfair, unfair, unfair."
The problem with this loop of complaining and comparing is that it only leads to misery. Whenever I find myself in these destructive thought patterns, I know that I have to pull myself out of them before I spiral down a dark hole.
As I have looked for inspiration and hope in dealing with the discouragement of chronic illness, I have looked to a lot of people that have overcome difficult things. I read and listen to these people’s stories and I realize how many truly difficult trials people face. I realize that my trials are small compared to so many people. I realize that God is providing me with everything I need, even if I want more. I realize that this life is filled with trials, disappointment and discouragement. I realize that nobody is immune from the challenges and heartaches of life.
In listening to one such story, I listened to a woman that experienced the tragic loss of her child. She said, "Why not me?" She said that so many people go through difficult things, so "Why not me?"
That thought struck me with so much force and it changed my point of view. Now when I find myself in a loop of negativity and thinking, "Why me?" I change my thoughts to "Why not me?"
If everybody goes through heart wrenching difficulties in some form or other, why not me? If some people go through truly horrific challenges, why do I complain when I still have so much and am learning to manage what I don’t have. Why not me? Why not now? Why not this experience at this time in my life?
If my Savior Jesus Christ suffered more injustice, more pain, and more agony than I ever will, then why not me? Things were truly the most unfair for our Savior, yet He did all that our Father asked of Him. Christ suffered all things for us and because He suffered these things, He knows how to help, lift and strengthen me.
The Book of Mormon prophet Alma teaches this beautiful doctrine about Jesus Christ:
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." Alma 7:11-12
When I stop waiting for life to be easy and without challenge, I can more clearly see all the good in my life. When I stop comparing my worst to others best, I can see that I already have everything I need to be happy now. And when I stop asking, "Why me?" I can accept what I have been given and make the most of it. After all, God is not comparing me to my neighbor. He is not asking me why I am not doing all of the amazing things that she is doing. He only wants me to make the best of what I have been given and move forward with faith and optimism. Asking "Why not me?" helps me move forward instead of backward. It helps me make the most of what I have been given. And I truly have been given much.
